Ocean

Today I went to a sad rocky beach and found sand!

All day I had been walking by pictures of people gone

from my life,

and listening to silences

and music,

and time seemed such a mystery!

I don’t want it to be sad.

I just wanted to sit and observe

that, wow:

here I am at this age

and in this place

with all this behind me

and who knows what in front of me....

And I didn’t want to go to the rocky beach,

because it used to be sandy and we swung there

and jumped into it....

But I went there anyway.

And there was sand!

And then I was confronted with

this vast fertility -- 

this ocean,

embarrassing with its richness of life and bounty and

breathtaking

in its ability to humble and snuff -- 

at the bash of a crystalline

translucent

aqua

foam-tipped

wave....

Then I realized

the ocean captured me,

threw its salty net around me

long ago!

I used to consider myself a proud mountain girl,

who had curiosity yet disdain for the ocean

and the people who came from the ocean....

But I knew somewhere in this disdain was a calling,

and now I’m here for twenty-five years and I love it.

The salty ocean is my salt blood

and my salt tears....

Next to her I feel small

and kin.

(And yes I say girl

at my age:

girl sounds like whirl and curl and unfurl –  

all things that waves do

and I like to do.)

There’s something about time and tides and life and

cycles and sand that seems gone and then comes back....  

The sea is time --

it is the great equalizer....

And beside it

nothing really matters

except loving it so.....

_________________

©2014

beth anne boardman